


To be in loved with someone who will never love you

by wreckitlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, First Love, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 10:29:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6562759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreckitlarry/pseuds/wreckitlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❝ He never knows, he never cares, he's emotionless watching me dying due to loving him, he said to me meaningless words, told me that he needs me, but I'm not what he wants. That until the day, those oceans go dry, the love word from his lips is never for me. ❞</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or where, Louis can't bear to let himself fall helplessly for someone who will never love him. Despite his empty sweet words and meaningless touches. He runs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To be in loved with someone who will never love you

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first time posting my work on here. I'm truly sorry if there're any mistakes or error grammar.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Love, Kate.

> _I love him so much that I'd die for him. I would give up everything, poorly and blindly love him but I'm not a doll, I know what is good and what is not, I know what was hurting me and who caused me pain._
> 
>  

* * *

It was dark when Louis walked out of Harry's apartment, tears found its way screaming down his face, a part of him didn't want to leave, but there was no way he'll turn back there, he would never forgive himself if he ever walks inside that house again. 

Louis was weaken and he refused to believe it. He could fall down on his knees right on the steps of the stairs but he tried to hold himself back. He found it scary that he has stayed there for 10 months.

His touches, his words got him so well every time he wanted to leave. He knew, knew too well he was only using him. In the beginning he made it so clear that they had no chance, don't be a fool and " love" him but as tragically as it is, Louis found himself falling into the deep hole. He sold his house to move in with him because he said that he needed him there, he hasn't visited his family once since he knew Harry because no one will cook for him for the day. He quitted his job due to the fact that he wanted him home when he backs from work. He made him depend on him. He made him someone whom he never want to be, tied down and depressed.

But Louis was in love, love blinded him. He countless times told himself that he can't let him in but he never can leave him out. He's stupid, so stupid. Don't get him wrong, Harry is a wonderful person but never to him. He treats people, his girlfriends like they worth everything but the look he gives Louis was so pitiful. He was a slave of love. For his man, he could do everything, even lost himself in the middle of the ocean. It's sad to know that he never cared if he ate, if he slept well, never kiss him in the mouth. And Louis can say nothing. This is his fault that he agreed to this. He only needed Louis, needed someone who cooks for him, who pleases him when he's too tired to go find his boyfriend. Who swallows his words down even if it makes him bleed.

Louis hated himself, he insulted himself and always questioned why he is still here. He found it harder and harder to breath while lying beside him, wrapping in his arms. Louis was in love, he is in love. One thing he always told himself not to, but when life wants to play games who is he to refuse. He hated the situation he was in, so bad that he just wanted to die, but then he refused to give him the pleasure to watch he lies on the ground in front of his shoes.

How could him, how could him fall for someone who will never love him back. Louis was young, and Harry was his first love. He gave all of him for Harry in a blink, he told himself that he can make him change, can kill the devil in his eyes and heal the cold heart inside his chest but seem like Louis was a little too confident. He did everything, gave him his first everything, kiss him with passionate, with everything he had, in hope to smelt his heart but he never did. He never knows, he never cares, he emotionless watching him dying due to loving him, he said to him meaningless words, told him that he needed him, but he was not what he wants. That until the day, those oceans go dry, the love word from his lips is never for him. He cried that night inside his room while Harry fuck his boyfriend. He was his "cousin" who stays there to take care of him, it is disgusting how he was so sweet to whatever his name. But Louis didn't let it turn him down. He went out and only came back to find a angry Harry sitting on the sofa, looking blackly at the screen of his television, he asked him why did he leave. He hugged him and said that he needed him, that "please never leave me". It made he laugh, who did he think he is. 

He packed a small luggage with him, he can't take much things with him, just some old clothes that he bought on his own, he can't take his money because the last thing he had left is his self-esteem. He left it under the guest's room bed just in case the day he can't handle this any more. He still loves him, he loves him so much it hurt but Harry hurts him times after times. The morning after, he was left with the untouched meal on the table, with no words from him, not even a look. And Louis knows, knows that he has to let go. This is killing him. Without Louis, he only lost someone who cooks for him, who heals his body at night. He will be okay. He can easily find someone to replace him, just the thought of it making Louis feel used and disgusting. Like he is just a toy, he is a toy. He was never more to him. Harry will never love him, someone like him.

So he ran, this night, he will never look back. he left the love of his life behind with his lover who was making love inside the dark room. He knew it hurt Louis but he didn't seem to care. He looked like he was falling in love, but not with him, with someone else. He knew if he didn't leave tonight, Harry will find a way to make him go and offer him some of his money with pity. Louis swore he will never forgive himself for loving him, but he won't regret also. Even though he was never really able to understand the word love truly mean but Harry was his first love and first love always tears people apart.

He stepped slowly down the stairs, to the ground, god, it felt like he was stepping out of prison. Louis smiled bitter, finally. Only him can help and save himself. Weakly catching the taxi, the driver gave empty look but he didn't seem to care. All he cared was, he was finally free.

It's bitter, it's tragic to be in love with someone who will never love you. But love is love and Louis still find love beautiful. His wounded heart will open again for someone, just not today. Today, he is free.

 

And if one year later, sitting inside a coffee shop, Louis saw the shadow of Harry walking inside the house, no one needs to know. Either he stays or he leaves, it's his choice now.

 

 

 

**the end.**

**Author's Note:**

> The choice is always yours. Save yourself.


End file.
